Search Results

Laolu Dada is a woman armed with an arsenal of facts about black women in tech. In thirty minutes of conversation, it’s clear she takes data seriously, using it as her catalyst for doing the kind of business that has real social impact. Niyo Enterprise, the company she runs with her business partner Oyinkansola Adebayo, is breaking new ground with their clear vision of ‘economically empowering black women’ through tech. Laolu believes that getting black women into the tech industry is one of the keys to reducing the percentage of black households living in income poverty. With their accelerator programmes, they are on a mission to upskill black women, increasing their earning potential and career prospects while disrupting the status quo in the tech industry. In partnership with larger organisations and companies like West Midlands Local Authority, this not-for-profit arm of their business, called Niyo Network, offers free bootcamps and fast-track courses to train black women in coding, software development, AR (Augmented Reality), VR (Virtual Reality) and 3D-Design. “The future is very bright for tech,” according to Laolu. “A lot of things are moving towards being automated to be run by systems and we need our stake in that. Recent stats have shown that in tech, especially with AI, there’s been a lot of discrimination and a lot of time the discrimination is coming from the fact that the people building these products are white middle-class men.” “We provide programmes, events and networking opportunities for black women. The Black Codher [which] launched last year was oversubscribed and we [trained] 50 black women to learn how to become full stack developers.” (A full stack developer is an engineer who can handle all the work of databases, servers, systems engineering, and clients.) “The tech careers accelerator is a 12 or 15 week course where you can learn data analytics or immersive technology (which is like CR design and 3D-design) to ensure that black women are represented in the tech industry. Representation matters. At current there’s less than 1% working in tech roles and it is incredibly shocking and it’s very scary, especially when we see that tech is a high impact industry and much of the government’s initiatives are moving towards digital roles.” For Laolu, Niyo Network is about giving black women access and opportunity so that black female career changers and entrepreneurs are able to “harness technology to solve problems for their customers, setting themselves apart immediately.” “We realised on our business journey that very often we were the only black women in the room privy to a lot of info that a lot of other black women didn’t have access to.” This is why a lot of what Niyo Network does is around gatekeeping. In October, they’ll be running a digital event for black women who want to pitch to venture capitalists for the chance of winning a cash prize of £5000, £3000 or £1000. “We think it’s incredibly important for black business women to not just apply for grants and funding but to also know that angel investors do value their ideas and would put their money where their mouth is.” The other arm of Niyo Enterprise is Niyo Hair & Beauty, a virtual salon connecting independent black hair stylists in the East and West Midlands with an established customer base. They are in the process of taking this to the next level with the design of a high-tech app that will use augmented and virtual reality to widen and streamline the service. “Watch this space,” says Laolu. Laolu was part of our Pink Paper panel of speakers at our online launch event in April. Follow this link to register for free. Almost 100 women have already, so what are you waiting for? Like our other speakers, Laolu has a lot to say about the ways that being more informed as women can lead to positive outcomes for us all.

Even as she edges ever closer to retirement age, PC Andrea Reynolds of the West Midlands Police force has decided to “have a last push to illuminate the debate” around why there’s such a disconnect between the black community and the police in the UK. After almost 30 years of service, Andrea felt that the “gulf was getting wider” and the recent Black Lives Matter protests show quite powerfully how disgruntled this community is. That’s why she decided to take on the challenge of studying for an MA in Social Research with the University of Birmingham in 2018 writing a dissertation that focuses on procedural justice 1 and its impact on black communities. On top of her active service as a police officer, her duties as a mother, a partner, a church Minister,and a founder of a youth mentoring programme, she graduated with a distinction for her dissertation in 2020. She is also a poet and a keen guitarist. Andrea has always been a formidable woman, though. When she graduated from police training back in the early nineties, she immediately handed in her resignation telling senior officers that she didn’t think she would be given a level playing field and she didn’t want to “expend her energy in that way”. Brazenly and bravely standing up for her principles has had Andrea marked out as difficult and divisive throughout her career. Luckily at that time, the Assistant Chief Constable (ACC), who had remembered Andrea from the accelerated graduates programme, got in touch with her to find out why she was resigning. She told him in no uncertain terms that her treatment on the team had been "extremely difficult" to bear and was an “obvious reminder of colour”. She also made the claim that the police force was not ready for her “injection of colour” and “a canvas without colour was no canvas at all”. Surprisingly to Reynolds, ACC Wardle launched an investigation and the response to its findings vindicated her to the extent that the team received reprimands and training. Only then did she feel she could accept a position. Being a little stubborn and of the opinion that it’s “better the devil you know”, Andrea rejoined the same shift team in order, she says, to “face the demons” that she knew would follow her wherever she went. “I knew I would survive,” she told Shakti Women. “My church put some serious prayer around me.” Going back was “most uncomfortable”, she remembers. “Obviously when you challenge such an established system, you’re the divisive one, you’re the trouble maker.” 1 Procedural justice is the idea of fairness in the processes that resolve disputes and allocate resources. One aspect of procedural justice is related to discussions of the administration of justice and legal proceedings. In other words, it’s the neutrality, respect, voice and trustworthiness that should combine to make all public procedures fair. Andrea admits that as a black woman born in London but raised in Jamaica (because her parents could not stand the racism), she was perhaps a little naive about what to expect but, after that initial hurdle, she simply wouldn’t give up and she wouldn’t be silenced. She felt passionately that it was her responsibility to respond to the hostility she was subjected to and, after beginning to meet regularly with other minority ethnic colleagues across the country for comforting "tea and talks" to share their experiences of racism, she helped to found the Black Police Association. Eventually, it was constituted to support its members to challenge racist and discriminatory behaviour, but it was a rough road to get it established. They had little support. All the work they did to get it off the ground was undertaken in their own time, on top of their shift duties, for no extra pay. Their perseverance paid off, however, when they started to get invited to “sit around significant tables” within the force and, when Stephen Lawrence was murdered in 1993, they were there to support Doreen and Neville Lawrence in their campaign for justice. “After the watershed of the Stephen Lawrence enquiry,” Andrea recalls, “we had a little bit of a momentum to try and push forward some joint strategy work with the chief police officers, to make things better.” “There were a whole raft of recommendations and we were very hopeful that we might have been able to see some of those implemented. We were around the table working out things like targets for recruitment and retention. This was not for any additional pay. [We spent] copious amounts of hours trying to push the agenda forward in a positive way.” Interestingly, it was another founding member, Leroy Logan, who the director Steve McQueen chose to depict in his award-winning Small Axe film, ‘Red, White and Blue’ aired on the BBC last winter -a point which we at Shakti Women feel raises the separate issue, perhaps, of why black women are far less acknowledged even than their black male counterparts. Andrea agrees. “Even on that level, yes, we hear his [Leroy Logan’s] voice a lot. He managed to get opportunities but the women were there grafting for change at the time.” To any budding female directors out there, Andrea’s story is crying out for its fair share of screen time! Ever since Andrea started serving on the force, she has thrown herself into the cause for systemic change. Passionate about creating a service that works for everyone, on the inside and out, she has invested copious amounts of (largely unpaid) hours into external activities to bridge the gap between her community and the police force, to illuminate the debate around stop and search and to offer support and guidance to young people and parents in relation to things like illegal drugs and knowing the law. Committed to the challenge of cultural and systemic change from the bottom up, she has never gone for promotion, seeing more value in doing what she could in the confines of where she could reach. She has, for example, taken on roles that could influence the way officers were taught the job, becoming a full time Police Trainer in 2001, a Diversity Coordinator for a time and a Staff Officer with the Inspectorate, holding the body that inspects the police to account. During her long career, Andrea is well aware of the feathers she has ruffled along the way, choosing to “command respect” through decisive action rather than, she says, be loveable. Nonetheless, she has won several awards including the Queen’s Long Service and Good Conduct Medal and in 2002 she was awarded the Officer of the Year award by the International Association of Women Police for her contribution to diversity and equality in policing. She was also recently nominated on social media to feature in a Birmingham City Council commissioned book to commemorate the 100th year of Women getting to Vote and the Centennial of WW1 titled ‘Once Upon a Time in Birmingham, Women Who Dared to Dream’(2018). Not satisfiedwith the positive impact she has already had, Andrea now hopes her MA dissertation will draw the attention of high-profile sociologists and psychologists in the struggle against systemic racism. You can read an excerpt of her research here. “It’s been a long haul,” sighs Andrea, “but I have every hope and confidence that change will come.”

The Muslim Women’s Network UK (MWNUK) is wholeheartedly and systemically grounded in the lived experiences of Muslim women and girls. It’s inception happened in 2003 after a group of women’s rights activists came together with the support of the Women’s National Commission to give independent advice and guidance to the government on issues relating to Muslim women and public policy. When this commission was shut down in 2011, six of these women decided to continue their work by setting something up that would prioritise minority women amongst the myriad of equalities issues. They started meeting with ministers and one of the first things they realised they needed to do was to gather data, so they ran focus groups with Muslim women and girls across the UK and published their first report in 2006. The current Executive Director of MWNUK, Faeeza Vaid MBE, who took over in 2011, spoke to Shakti Women of the disheartening reality that “if you read that report, sadly the same issues exist today.” This is despite the MWNUK’s robust efforts as a small organisation to tirelessly research, campaign and advocate for systemic change for almost two decades. Faeeza speaks cogently about the ultimate mission of this Community Interest Company: to support Muslim women and girls whilst influencing policy and practice. The main outcome of that first report was the MWNUK’s strategic provision of information and guidance for Muslim women about their rights and options in ways that were accessible to them. They have produced a raft of short, digestible information booklets on topics such as saying no to forced marriage, mental health, hate crime andsexual exploitation. These have been downloaded hundreds of thousands of times! Nonetheless, Faeeza and her small, committed team of activists quickly realised that language and format were barriers to the accessibility of their resources, so they started creating videos in different languages, such as Urdu and Bengali, and now have substantial content on a YouTube channel. They also run a helpline for Muslim women and girls and receive hudreds of calls relating to a range of issues from domestic violence to honour based abuse. The data they collect from the helpline helps the MWNUK paint a clear picture of where more research and support, or even institutional change is desperately needed. For example, their 2019 report on Muslim women’s experiences of the criminal justice system was a response to countless calls to the helpline from Muslim female service users whose contact with the police, crown prosecution service or judiciary was “insufficient or inadequate”. Their cases highlight how the criminal justice system responds to Muslim women who have been victims of violence and abuse and whether they are 'getting justice' or what factors are contributing to any 'justice gaps.' Sometimes, the report concludes, the consequences of inadequate service can be fatal. All of their learning resources, videos, data, and reports are free to download from www.mwnuk.co.uk. Currently, the MWNUK team has partnered up with the Fawcett Society to deliver a programme called Equal Power which aims to get more minority ethnice women into politics by bridging the gaps in the civic experience and self-confidence required to stand forpolitical positions. They’ve also been working throughout the pandemic to inform and support Muslim women, most recently publishing a video series on the COVID-19 vaccine. Shakti Women wants to thank Faeeza Vaid for emphasising the importance of research and data in the struggle for equality and if you want to hear her and other inspirational women speak more on this issue, please sign up for a free spot at our launch eventfor the The Pink Paper -a 50+ page collation of the facts about women and girls in the UK today covering a wide range of topics

We were so touched by this letter from Jessica Cruse who is one of our long-time members and beneficiaries that we simply had to share it... Hi Shakti, I hope everyone on the team is doing well. Lockdown 3 has been the worst for sure- for myself, someone who works internationally, works directly with challenging roles and beneficiaries focused and also someone who loves to network, it's been tough. Add that I do prefer hot weather, Ive been living away from family and friends for the last two years and last March, a week after returning to the UK lockdown hit! At least those prior lockdowns the weather was warm, gyms were open, we could meet people for a walk, sit outside, have space. Lockdown 3 in winter has been abysmal for so many people I know. However. There is light at the end of the tunnel and let me be honest, that light has been Shakti. I reached out to the team to request mentoring from Cheryl and I couldn't believe I was able to access this programme and also for free! At a time in my life where I needed it most. Where Ive felt lost, not myself, los my belief. I am well into the mentoring programme with Cheryl and I had no idea how amazing it would be. Firstly the space as a young professional black woman whose quite frankly fed up of this whitewash in my sector, and male-wash also. Shakti has not only provided me with this access, but onto a programme led by two very inspiring, courageous, bold, unapologetic women. I just want to say thank you so much to Shakti! I am truly loving my mentoring sessions and I already feel they've had a massive impact on me and my life. Lockdown 3 is hard but Shakti has helped. I would love for Shakti to offer the calendar of events they used to, the personal chapter, professional chapter and so on, digitally online! It would honestly be amazing and I know there's plenty of people like me who would attend, support and pay. £10/£20/£30 per month for those kinds of sessions, also the connection. Anyhoo- I saw the post on linkedin and wanted to respond in thanks. by Jessica Cruse Thank you do much for these heartfelt words, Jessica! We hope posting your letter encourage others to reach out to us for our services. If Shakti Women has helped you in any way or if there's a way we could help you but aren't, we'd love to hear from you in the comments below. Perhaps, Shakti Women is the light at the end of your tunnel? If you want to find out more about our services, please get in touch. Or if you want to talk, send your name and number to hello@shaktiwomen.com and one of our team will give you a call.

When is our society going to overcome its ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ syndrome? Silly little Red Riding Hood. If only she hadn’t wandered off into the woods on her own. If only she hadn’t talked to a stranger on the way. If only she hadn’t been so naive. If only she hadn’t worn that most sexually provocative of colours, red. If only she hadn’t been so pretty. If only she hadn’t been a young woman, flaunting herself like that with her pretty bouquet of flowers. If only, if only, if only she had made herself as small and invisible as she possibly could then surely she wouldn’t have been eaten all up by the hungry wolf, right? Hold on just a minute now, hold on… What exactly are we saying here? We’re saying she deserved it. We’re saying it was her fault. We’re saying that we need to warn others like her not to make the same mistakes. But what we’re not saying is anything at all about the behaviour of the wolf and all the other wolves like him and we at Shakti Women think this is ridiculous. And if you haven’t figured out what we’re talking about yet, let’s break it down for you… A 33 year old woman named Sarah Everard disappeared after walking home from her friend’s house one night. Human remains were found and it has been confirmed, sadly, that they are Sarah's. A Metropolitan Police officer has been arrested on suspicion of her murder and an investigation is underway. Our hearts go out to her family and friends. May she rest in peace. In the aftermath of this devastating news, our mainstream media ran segments on how women can do more to stay safe and the practical advice mothers should give to their daughters to avoid getting harassed, attacked, raped and murdered by men as they go about their business. Inevitably and rightly, there has been a huge backlash against this skewed perspective and the Shakti Women team wants to make it clear where we stand. I for one firmly believe that our society needs to overcome this damaging ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ syndrome. I'm interested to know what YOUR thoughts are about HOW we get men in our society to recognise the misogyny that exists and what we do as a society to enable and empower our men to love and appreciate the power of women without feeling threatened. Please let us know what you think in the comments section below.

Inspiring music industry artist, Namywa (pronounced Nam-eye-wa), is on a mission to amplify the unsung voices of women and girls from marginalised communities, supporting creative entrepreneurs with her new Community Interest Company (CIC), GirlGrindUK. Herself spending a number of years on the grind against the all-too-familiar barriers she has navigated to success in the music industry as a black woman from Birmingham, Namywa tells us how she was inspired to help other young, up-and-coming artists find their path, break through and never allow their self-worth to be undermined or determined by such obstacles. She originally did so at just 24 years old by founding the organisation Namywa Change Formation and was awarded just under 17 grand in funding from UnLtd - Space for Change Fund and Arts Council, at the time through the Grants For The Arts program to deliver arts projects in collaboration with women and girls from Black, Asain and Minority Enthinic (BAME) communities. The organisation did well and she’s proud of the work they achieved but, she says, it struggled to “get any further”. Reflecting on the experience now, Namywa believes this was down to a combination of reasons, partially down to her not having a clear enough vision about what her mission and goals really were but mostly down to the lack of openness and willingness toward improving and humanising the voices of women of colour across the sector at the time. Her mother, Winsome, also played a pivotal role in the formation of GirlGrindUK as she never stopped encouraging Namywa to develop the idea, knowing and believing herself that it had great merit and “needed to get off the ground”. GirlGrindUK is a CIC rooted in her profound consciousness of social and environmental issues, as well as her commitment to the advancement of talented, entrepreneurial women and girls from BAME backgrounds. In her own words, GirlGrindUK “inspire[s], rejoice[s], and cultivate[s] women and girls along their personal and professional grind” guided by the belief that “ambition in girls starts at a young age”. There are two strands to the support and services offered by GirlGrindUK: Grownish for girls aged 12-17 and Womanish for young women up to the age of 30. Through arts based and other projects, events, campaigns, and well-being advocacy, GirlGrindUK is all about investing in passionate, creative women to up-skill and entitle them. At the moment, Namywa is working on the social media presence of GirlGrindUK. She’s taken on an apprentice content creator and used Shakti Women Studios to develop a series of videos to promote their ethos and build a following. GirlGrindUK is growing. Namywa is already set to send out her first mailing to new registrants. She is enthusiastic to deliver much-needed services to women and girls in Birmingham and is absolutely bursting with creative project ideas that she hopes to get going as soon as we’re out of lockdown.Telling stories through art is a huge part of the work that will unfold. To find out more visit www.girlgrinduk.co.uk, follow them on Instagram @girlgrinduk, better still, join Namywa’s GirlGrindUK mailing list by clicking here https://motivated-artisan-6631.ck.page/a370dfafc3 or reach out at hello@girlgrinduk.co.uk That way you can keep up-to-date with what projects and services this innovative CIC has to offer. Shakti Women stands in solidarity with GirlGrindUK and looks forward to some fruitful collaborations in the future as we develop our growing Shakti Women’s Consortium as part of our Women2Women project funded by the Local Connection Fund. If you, your organisation, or company wants to be a part of the Consortium, simply drop us a line to hello@shaktiwomen.com.

THE PINK PAPER LAUNCH EVENT: With International Women’s Day just around the corner, Shakti Women is thinking pink. Yes, that’s right, PINK! The 8th March is a time for celebration, reflection and action and we are full of hope that the future is female, but we aren’t fools now ladies, there’s still a lot of work to be done and our Pink Paper 2021 is the starting point... Where: Zoom, When: Thursday 1st April, Time: 10.30am-12.30pm What you get? - Free copy of Pink Paper worth £50 - Free place on our full-day bid-writing and fundraising workshop worth £350 - Automatic membership of the Shakti Women's Consortium The FREE registration link WHAT WE OFFER? COFEE MORNING Coffee mornings, have been a safe space to be vulnerable but also a great laugh. Getting to speak to the incredible women every week has been a breath of fresh air. So, I encourage you to join us if you are looking for a breather. Send an email to hello@shaktiwomen.com to receive the Zoom link. BUN & SAY CHEESE We see the issue and we want to make a change. We’re supporting our elders in North Birmingham with activity packs, food parcels and a chat. If you know an elder who might be feeling alone right now, want someone friendly to talk to, or who would welcome a free food package and a fun gift dropped off safely at their door then please give us a call on 01212331670 or email hello@shaktiwomen.com . LET'S TALK An essential part of self-love is taking time for self-reflection so let's talk. Drop us an email to hello@shaktiwomen.com if you want to talk to a professional counsellor, therapist or life coach. LOCKDOWN DIAIRES Have you ever had those moments in your life in your life where you are hit with a ton of emotions? One second you’re fine then out of nowhere your eyes begin to well up, you aren't even sure why. Writing is more than just words it’s about the expression of the good, the bad and the ugly. So, whatever you do don’t stop writing. But also share it. Email us your poem to be included in our anthology WOMEN WALKING ON WATER Spring is in the air ladies and there’s no better time to be getting those trainers on and getting outside for a good walk in the fresh air. Don’t forget your FREE ‘beauty in every drop’ reusable water bottle! If you don’t have one yet, post a pic of your walk on our page and we’ll get in touch to send you one in the post. CREATIVE WRITING SERIES It's time to lay it bare. What would you say to yourself right now, because often what we say to others for support is what we really need to hear. So take a moment to listen... to you. #beyourownbestfriend. Write yourself a love letter with our popular ‘Be Your Own Best Friend’ creative writing workshop on YouTub SHAKTI BODY LOVE SERIES Take 10 minutes out to relax, release and re-energise with our Shakti Body Love Series on YouTube. Dance like you love yourself with our popular ‘Black and Gold’ dance workout for the Shakti Body Love Series. If you need to talk, please get in touch. Send your name and number to hello@shaktiwomen.com and one of our team will give you a call.

We would like to thank Sarah Smith and all the wonderful women who sent in their poems, prose, rants and diary entries. It was all a pleasure to read. Although the competition is over we still encourage you to send in your stories to be published. Sarah won the cash prize of a £100 as well as getting her poem published in our anthology. Why not keep a look out for our competition because you could be the next winner but for now enjoy her wonderful poem. INSIDE OUT Embrace the transition whilst we walk this path. Who knows where it will lead us Whilst the birds touch the ground to find food. Squirrels patting their paws on the lawn. Sun shining through the trees as we walk. A day to be grateful has we walk, talk and listen. Gratitude is all around us, we just need to tune in and be aware. Send in your pieces to womanlywords@shaktiwomen.com

Season 4 of Netflix hit The Crown is attracting millions and millions of British viewers. Even I, a staunch republican, have found myself sucked into episodes showing the puffy-sleeved plushness of the palace. The great reign of the Queen of Hearts, the late Princess Diana, did, after all, dominate the headlines of my youth. But isn’t there a profound irony in the fact that at this moment in history (a turning point, some have argued) when we are all being forced to face the stark reality of inequities in our society brought to the foreground by a pandemic, the nation is gripped by the fictional representation of the oldest, most obvious and most crude symbol of inequity that ever existed: the royal family? How is it that we are prepared to admit the alarming divisions between rich and poor, men and women, and black and white (at last), and yet we aren’t prepared to acknowledge that these divides are perpetually reinforced by the existence of this antiquated, patriarchal and inherently racist system of hereditary wealth, status and privilege that, whether we choose to believe or not, has an enormous influence on the politics of this country, from catering to the vested interests of the aristocratic proprietors of vast swathes of British land, to giving seats to unelected peers in the House of Lords? I despair. The question is, will The Crown tighten the veil of delusion over our royalist sensibilities, or will the utter absurdity of the happenstance of ‘royalty’ and ‘royal blood’ be exposed by its writers and gradually pull we, the people, out of our collective fairytale-induced stupor to make republicans of us all? Perhaps the jewel in The Crown will be a Season 6 finale in 2022 coinciding with our enlightened escape from the pandemic that stands in defiance against the monarchists. Wishful thinking. I suspect that the writers will play it safe and pander to the warm blanket of the status quo, sinking us deeper into the escapist fantasy that we’ve bought into for centuries. They will convince us yet again that the royal family is not, in fact, the very reason why there still exists an oppressive class system in Britain keeping the haves and the have-nots firmly rooted in their respective positions along a scale between the great pillars of our ‘democracy’: Privilege and Poverty. Given how distracting we all know a good Netflix binge is from one doing anything remotely productive, let alone politically active, one’s bet is on the above.

We’re almost a month into Lockdown 3 in the UK and the recent news of an NHS on the brink of collapse as well as a rising daily death toll is all a bit too much. While the roll out of the vaccine gives us hope, it still feels like we have a mountain to climb before we’re out of this mess and even with the point at which people stop dying from this virus visible just over the horizon, we’re bewildered by what kind of ‘new normal’ we’re going to find ourselves living in when we eventually escape. It feels like the world is never going to be as it was before. It feels like it can’t be. And nor should it be. But exactly what kind of new reality are we going to be living in and is it going to be a reality that is better for us all and better for the planet? Only time will tell. Time, it seems, is the only certainty we have. With these sobering thoughts in mind, I’m wondering how you’re all doing. How are you feeling? How are you coping? Are you doing better or worse than you were during the summer? No judgement here. It’s not a contest. We’re all just crawling our way through the fog. Perhaps you’ve found your lockdown groove more quickly this time or maybe you feel like you’re having to start over, learning how to deal with it all again. I mean, we never really came out of lockdown, did we? But it still isn’t easy, is it? Oh how I long to dance shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip, with semi-naked bodies on a beach as the sun rises onto a new dawn. How I pine for an afternoon sipping a flat white on a gallery bench, soaking up the art and watching the world go by. Whatever you’re yearning for and whatever your situation is, whether you’re a key worker still going out to work each day, or someone Zooming non-stop as you work from home; whether you’re homeschooling your children, or taking care of relatives; whether you’re crowded into a full house or rattling around an empty one, feeling lonely and isolated or just craving a little time and space for yourself, we are with you and we know: this is hard. Since October, Shakti Women has been running a service called ‘Let’s Talk’, giving up to 10 hours of free talk therapy, counselling, coaching or mentoring to any woman who has been in touch with us and expressed a desire to speak to a professional. Lots of you have and we’ve decided to extend the service for you because we know how much you need this right now and we also know how hard it can be to afford talk therapy. That’s why this service is free. If you need to talk, please get in touch. Send your name and number to hello@shaktiwomen.com and one of our team will give you a call.

Aside from the pandemic, it’s been a particularly rough year for me so I decided to take advantage of the Shakti Women Let’s Talk service and I’m so glad that I did. My counsellor has been helping me to work through a depression and a difficult relationship with my mother. We’ve been speaking for an hour most Sunday nights for the last couple of months. Just to give you a bit of context (not because I want your pity but because I’m hopeful that sharing will encourage others to talk through their difficulties with someone and not bottle them all up), my mother and I have always found it hard to communicate with one another and the stresses of the last year have brought these difficulties to the foreground. My dad has terminal lung cancer. We found out in January last year while I was working for a school in Ecuador. I’d flown home to attend an interview for another school in Thailand and had a few days to go and see him in hospital. That’s when they told us his diagnosis. It was a shock. We knew he was in a lot of pain. The year before, he’d broken his back and never been the same since, but we didn’t quite expect to hear that they thought he only had a few weeks to live. I spent a few days in and out of the hospital, by his side, as he had his first and only round of radiotherapy. It was horrific for him and seeing him so broken was devastating. Sadly, I had to return to Ecuador while he was still in hospital. My headteacher had been great, but I had a contract to fulfill, students to teach. In the meantime, I got the job in Thailand and accepted it, not knowing what was just around the corner. As soon as I got back, I booked another flight to the UK to be with dad for the February half term. By that time, he was back home, recovering from the radiotherapy and the trauma of being quite seriously ill in hospital. Life as his full-time carer had just begun for my mother. While she wasn’t at work one or two days a week in the local cinema, she was doing an amazing job of looking after dad, as she still is. Even so, his pain was out of control. It was hard to leave the both of them again to fly back to Ecuador, but I had to. Then came the pandemic. The city of Quito went into full lockdown two weeks before the UK and I started to worry that I wouldn’t be there for my dad if the worst happened. I booked a flight home but it was cancelled. I booked another one, but that was cancelled too. As my teaching went online and the Ecuadorian government imposed a strict curfew, I was increasingly afraid I wasn’t going to make it back to the UK at all and my dad was going to die while I was held hostage by the pandemic in my apartment. In the end, I asked the British Embassy to help get me home. Within a week of my desperate Tweet to them, I was on a packed KLM flight, wearing a mask and trying not to touch anyone or anything the entire way as I watched WHO videos about the rapid spread of the virus throughout the world. It felt like I was playing the part of an extra in a dystopian film. One year on and defying all the odds, my dad is still here, still fighting. His pain is controlled by high doses of morphine and my mom’s daily care and compassion for him is nothing short of heroic. The other day she told me she feels selfish because she’ll do anything to keep him here. She’s not selfish. Far from it. They’ve been married for 39 years. What will she do and who will she be without him? They are a solid unit. An enduring love. She must be terrified. Perhaps the unspoken fears we both have are one reason that mom and I have been arguing. I’m finding it so hard to communicate with her. I also feel redundant. Even though I decided not to go to Thailand so that I could be here, I don’t know how to help her. When I try to be a better daughter, a better person, something inside me gets in the way of giving her the love and support she deserves right now. Something buried deep. I know I sound hard on her, hard on myself too perhaps. Trust me. I know I have work to do. This isn’t the half of it. Honestly. So much has changed and so many other things have happened this last year that have completely derailed my world. I was living with my cousin, an alcoholic in recovery, who relapsed. Our relationship broke down as a result and I’ve moved back into my parents’ house. My brother was also recently given a cancer diagnosis. Thankfully, he’s young, healthy and has a really good chance of living a long life, but it’s incurable. His chemo treatment began in December. In the meantime, I’ve completely changed my career and started writing a book. Counselling has genuinely helped me to articulate the emotional impact of all this and start to get to the root of my feelings about mom so that I can begin to relate to her with more ease. It’s been so hard and I get it wrong every day still, but having someone listen to and help me understand myself better has been a great help. I want to thank Shakti Women for starting this project, and my counsellor for signing up to be part of it. I also want to encourage all of you to get talking. You don’t have to suffer in silence. This last year has been tough on everyone and only by talking about how it has affected us are we going to have any hope of getting through the next. If you need to talk, please get in touch. Send your name and number to hello@shaktiwomen.comand one of our team will give you a call.

Lately I’ve been having a lot of vivid, water-related dreams. This is not a euphemism for wetting the bed (or anything else related to that delicate region), by the way. Honestly. The first one occurred a few weeks before Christmas. I was in a small boat, dangerously drifting over the waves of a turbulent sea. Someone was with me. We were both scared, but I seemed to be the one reassuring the other that we were going to be ok because I could see another vessel and people in the water in the distance. The waves carried us right to them and we were both rescued. Then I dreamt about bobbing along on a lilo. Just me and the lilo in the open water with nothing else to do but bob along. That one had less of a story to it. Most recently I dreamt I was almost drowning, swimming with all my might to keep my head above water in the trough of a tsunami-sized wave that was pulling me up into its crest like the mouth of a hungry blue whale. The wave had me as well as a few other people and random objects, like cars, gripped in its jaws and was headed towards a huge concrete breakwater that was separating the sea from what looked like some post-apocalyptic city just beyond. Again, I was with someone and seemed to be protecting them. As the crest of the wave billowed above, getting close to fully subsuming us before it smashed down onto the wall, I looked at this person and we took a deep breath together. The next moment, it was dark. That’s when I woke up, but instead of feeling utterly panicked, as you’d expect, I was actually overwhelmed by a sense of peace and trust for what being eaten by the tsunami wave would mean. I’ve no doubt that my dreams have been hugely symbolic. It’s certainly fun and often quite revealing trying to interpret them. What dreams have you been having lately, I wonder? Aside from what they may or may not represent, these dreams have got me thinking about the myriad ways that water can be a source of healing and strength. Our Women Walking on Water project is about more than getting women out walking by water. It’s also about getting us to appreciate the water we have around us and think about the significant role that it plays in all our lives. While we’re in the throws of one of the most turbulent times in living memory, perhaps we’d all do well to remember the powerfully healing and strengthening properties of this essential life-giving liquid. Perhaps it would do us good to notice, to really notice, where it is, where it comes from, where it flows to and how it sustains us, from the crystal clear nectar that pours abundantly from our faucets, to the murky brown waterways that canal dwellers call home. It might also do us well to think of all the ways we’ve managed to avoid drowning (in bad news, fear, discarded masks, conspiracy theories, financial worries, mortality rates, job losses, and so on and so forth) while we’ve all had to bravely dip our toes, and then our whole bodies, into this ‘new normal’. As we look forward, I wonder if we can take the analogy further to see that diving into the waves of change that are on the horizon might not be as scary as it first looks, if we could only trust ourselves to tread the coming water with care.